margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
