just tell him i said nine months
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
