Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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