i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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