No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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