don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
