if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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