Soap is not a condiment
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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