We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
