I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize