It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
