ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
