discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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