Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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