I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
