So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
