A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
