Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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