if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just had sex on a roof
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
