Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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