i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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