theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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