I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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