Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
