well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
