the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
