i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Randomize
