you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm really into asian looking animals
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
