At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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