Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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