dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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