I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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