You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize