You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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