I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
