if you like me you must not know who I am
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
