Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
