well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
