I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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