the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
