ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
