Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
