Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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