I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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