Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
