Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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