Im at strip club and am horny
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
