Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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