apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
