If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
