No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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