so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
