Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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