What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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