you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize