I wanna bring you to show and tell
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
