p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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