Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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