He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
