Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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