So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
