He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
