God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
