Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
