Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My breath smells like gin and sadness
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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