i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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