he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
