garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize